One contrary opinion and that house of cards will fall. If you set yourself up to generate self-esteem from the opinions of others, your self-worth is then teetering on a weak foundation of outside views that you have no control over. Ohio State University did a study measuring brain activity in 1998 that concluded, “negative stimuli have a greater impact on our minds than positive stimuli.” We tend to focus more on negative comments than positive ones, and allow those to overtake us. My concern is that in using this kind of anonymous validation as the path towards self-esteem, you’re opening yourself up to the occasional troll who may try to eviscerate you and that you’ll end up focusing on that, and it could upend you. We know how superficial gay men can sometimes be, especially in places like Grindr (“no fats, no femmes”), so when you get a different reaction than you might be used to, it can be intoxicating. I can understand how it can feel good to be complimented for something you’ve been shamed for in the past.
